Unreality Studios manifesto

Part 6 of A Photo-Illusionist’s Declaration by Jerry A. Sierra

On Collecting Figurines - A confession

Breaking Bad figurines group portrait

The practice of buying toys and figurines and NOT opening them seems harshly dysfunctional... What’s wrong with these people? Don’t they have therapists? Are they saving their breakfast until it goes up in value? This is the only way that some “grown-ups” can rationalize having toys. [These rants do not apply to legitimate businesses that carefully warehouse unsold items in temperature-controlled storage lockers deep underground in Utah.]

The fact is that you can’t appreciate the figure until you take it out of the box.

If you see a wall of unopened toys in someone’s house, displayed proudly in the original packaging... RUN! You’re in zombie land, for only a zombie would display a body in a sealed and transparent coffin, or maybe a vampire. Is there a stuffed, chemically preserved human body sitting on a rocking chair in a back room (as in Psycho)? I’m willing to bet that Norman Bates didn’t open his toys, that may be why he became an amateur taxidermist in the first place.

Gail with Uzi and cuffs

Present day “imprisoned” toys exist in some inter-spatial limbo... trapped between reality and unreality... between birth and the womb, between here and there but nowhere. Between a human that would love them and one that slaves them for future profit.

These “innocent” toys must be rescued... we must break open their prisons, pull them (carefully) out of their tightly-secured coffins and allow them once again to breathe the air... to interact with other toys… to be seen from different angles and poses. Let their former slavers see how much more attractive (& imagination-inducing) these toys can be outside their plastic tombs.

These slavers, many of which probably live with their parents, must also be freed from their “collector” infliction. Maybe, one day, science will provide a cure.


NEXT: The Rules of Unreality

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